i love fridays

i love fridays, i love fridays, i love fridays! have i mentioned how awesome fridays are?

getting through these last few months of grad school has been tough. i feel like i take life week by week... i know it's not good to just wish life away, but i just need it to be june already. i'm ready for my job to be my main focus each week so that i can do my job well again. sometimes my mind gets pulled in so many directions every week that i get overwhelmed and end up not doing anything well. when you're able to give your undivided attention to a task, i think you can just do it much better!

i would like to say that my internship would get much easier if i could just drop-kick a patient that i've been working with. please let me complain for 30 seconds... i just don't know what else i can do for you, and even if i did, i don't want to help you anymore because you are so needy! buck up, deal with the crap that you're causing for your family, and figure it out on your own! grrr. thanks, i feel better already. but i don't think i'm going to last very long in social work...

but i guess that's life. trying to figure out where God would like me to be. and that's where my lack of patience comes in. because i want to know NOW! i have a great job now; do i stay here for another year? another five years? or am i supposed to be somewhere else? i find myself reading psalm 139 over and over on days when i'm struggling with this, because it's such a beautiful reminder of how well God knows us and how he's got things planned out. even when i'm wondering who i am and what i'm doing here!

i know i want to have kids someday. and i know that eric is going to be a great dad, i can't wait to see that. but i get so nervous about having a baby and then changing my mind, about getting sick of it, about not being happy about or good at being a mom. we babysat last night for baby emma (of our friends brent & jen from church), so i guess this is what makes me think about babies. so many new moms that i've seen, like jen and other friends, seem SO happy. i hope i'm like that! but i'm worried that i'm going to be the one suffering from post-partum depression, that just can't wait to hand baby over to someone else, and just resenting parenthood. maybe that just means that i'm not ready yet, but maybe i'm not cut out for it? does anyone else think about that, or am i just crazy?

oh man, i worry too much! but it's the weekend, and i'm not prego. i have a great hubby, and kaits is coming over tonight, and i'm going to ann arbor and then denver in a couple weeks, so life is good. let's just leave it at that :)